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Resolving to Move Forward

Posted by on Dec 31, 2012 |

December 2012 has been a conundrum of events that have been taxing on both my health and my patience.  Events ranging from a flu bug that attacked my granddaughter for almost the whole month, to teenagers with schedules that need to be coordinated and confirmed…cupcakes and baking for the holidays, appointments, shopping, cleaning, and making decisions for the new year have taken over the sense of calm that one can often find in their day to day travels.  Such is the joy of the Season and the month of December at any time.  I’m not alone, I know this…I have watched as friends battled cancer, suffered through life altering illness with their children (definitely making Boo’s illness menial by any means)…I have watched as friends give birth, a friends passing…and the hustle and bustle of the world going on around me…and I continued on in my pursuit of the search for Peace and Happiness.

While I lay awake listening to the sounds around me at night, I  made plans for the new Year like so many others.  How will I approach this, What will I do in regards to that…Do I want to go down this road, or turn here?…The answers fail to come easily…and yet I make a deal with myself…

I am going to Stop and resolve to move Forward.  I am going to let go of the past that I cannot, despite wanting to, change…because I cannot do it alone, nor did I alone get to this point.  I will carry forward with the memories that are mine, with the knowledge that while admittedly I have erred, I have also brought made great strides.   I am going to resolve to move forward with the dream of my own shop celebrating the tiny treats that are mine to offer.  I am going to move forward and celebrate the children born of a relationship long passed but still held in high regard…greater friends come from the celebration of life and its challenges presented.  I am going to move forward with the joy that is our daily schedule, and embrace the bumps along the way because if for no other reason…this is what life is all about.

I can make all the promises I want, but as we all know, promises are can be broken, people can become disillusioned ..and this challenge is mine and mine alone.  I will celebrate the daily happenings of the children, I will embrace the friends and family before me, I will aim to lose at least 50 pounds admitting I have more to lose.  I will aim to walk the dog as far as he will allow me (he is a little lazy after the first five blocks and expects to be carried home).  I will offer a hand when needed, and I will reassure everyone and anyone that Resolving to Move Forward is easier on the Heart, Mind and Soul…

 

For this last day of 2012…I want to wish you all Health, Humor and Happiness in the days to come.  Embrace your inner child, Hug the person next to you and offer a Hand to a stranger…you may make their day!

 

 

 

 

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I Feel Pretty!

Posted by on Dec 16, 2012 |

Christmas is a season of hustle and bustle in our house…five girls running from school, to work, to events…and this past week Revlon Canada made it even more fun!

We received a package as part of the Revlon Selects program currently being run.   I had signed up a few weeks ago via a Facebook link and was elated to see the first box arrive Monday.  The kids gathered round as I opened the box and the screams of joy at the package we received was enough to make me realize, i was going to have a few testers as well as myself.

revlon

 

There was something for everyone, or so I was told.  My  daughters aged 13 and 14 respectively immediately were drawn to the new two tones of nail polish and a spa began as we perused the rest of the package,it helped that they matched school colors!.  My older daughter aged 21 was excited at the prospect of the five shades of eye shadow that were offered with the Revlon PhotoReady Primer & Shadow set and I had to call her back to the room as she attempted to escape to the bathroom.  I myself was in love with the shade of  Ultimate Suede ColorStay Lipstick…Backstage is definitely a colour I will be adding to my day to day makeup.  It went on easily, and even after three hours of wear I had no smudging or loss of texture.  Added to the mix was a Revlon nail file that was glittered to match the season.  I filed my nails and loved the texture…I had a small snag in my nail from working in the kitchen in the afternoon, and loved how it was repaired so easily.

I took my new treasures and put them to the ultimate test…do they fit in my handbag…as I do not carry a large bag…I was loving that I was able to slip them into the interior pocket without any fuss at all!  I know I will definitely have to be hiding the lipstick and eyeshadow there, safe from prying eyes.

As I previously stated there was something for everyone in the little box delivered…my granddaughter was equally impressed with the black crinkled paper that all our treasures were found in!  i have been picking it up for days from the Barbie house, her craft table…and surprising enough her lunch pail (I’m not even going to ask!)

I’d like to say Thank You Revlon!  I know that I will be purchasing the items provided, as without a doubt they were easy to use, the colors lasted, and I love how much the girls were excited about learning new make up techniques!

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834 Miles…

Posted by on Dec 14, 2012 |

newton

 

There are No Words…

 

Today Tragedy struck 834 miles from my home.  While the World woke up and began its decent into travel and scheduling…834 Miles away a young man had woken up and began his day…only those close to him will know whether he showered, ate breakfast, or argued with his parents.  No one but those closest to him can understand his mood or path…and even today they are shaking their heads and wondering “WTF!?!?!”

We as parents send our children off every day, with the briefest of “I love you…’have a nice day’…’make good choices’…’see you after school” with the belief that they are safe in the adventure that is their day beginning.  Sadly today all those beliefs were shattered in a few brief minutes…when that same man who woke up and began his day took the life of 26 people…anguish at the knowledge that  20 of them were children is encompassing so many as I write this. None of us ever thought we would find ourselves  here. No one imagines they will be saying goodbye forever to a child, much less to their own child. Nothing could be crueler, more unfair yet today 834 miles away families gather to help one another through the tragedy that overtook their community, and the world.  Shock, disbelief, sadness, angst, anger, sorrow and empathy for the family members left behind are all that remain.  There are no answers, their is no magic word that will make us all understand. Questions are all that remain…parents are hugging their children closer, grandparents are calling to make sure their loved ones are OK.

The question that will remain on everyone’s mind for the next few hours, days, weeks and months, even as Politicians embrace the gun control issue in their anger and grief. I am not interested in embarking on that argument at the present time…I am too saddened that 834 miles away from me today the world was once again torn apart by the question “Why?”  again, after the actions of one person exploded into the unthinkable act…

There are No answers because that one person who took such drastic measure, an unbelievable act committed by what can only be defined as a mental issue  did not share his plans for the day until it was too late to stop him…truthfully, whether planned or not no one will ever know because he took his own life, and any answers are now gone with him.

834 miles away tonight mothers and fathers will struggle to survive with the loss of their child or family member unaware that 834 miles away from them, I will be embracing mine and thanking the powers that are they are safe for one more night.

 

God Speed

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What Life has Taught me as a “Mom”

Posted by on Dec 10, 2012 |

26 Years…the amount of time I have been involved in my Oldest SD life, in the beginning as a NonCustodialStepMom…the next 23 years were spent with its ups and downs, highs and lows, laughter and tears. She was the first stitch in my heart spun in Gold.  She has embraced life with a joy that is as memorable as her laughter.

23 years…the amount of time since I gave birth to my oldest darling daughter…the easiest of pregnancies and birth, she would teach me to embrace the rainbows even when it was stormy. It would take losing my mother almost five years ago to realize that behind that sunny disposition raged a storm in itself…today we are recovering from that one day at a time. Again, through laughter, tears, angst and Grace she has proven to be the Silver notch in my heart.
21 years…the amount of time I have spent entranced in a spell woven by the most tumultuous of children…We have endured, embraced the chaos and cheered her on despite failures and triumphs…Her laughter is contagious, her angst is all encompassing some days but her presence is a challenge that someone believes in my abilities more so than I do(eyes move upward). Like the Sapphire that is her birthstone, she is a beauty that withstands the elements of time.
14 years…again a period of time to which my heart is handed to the youngest of tragedies. Born into a world not her asking, embraced with love she came to us through circumstances when people said ‘walk away’…My simplest reply was “she needs me”…today we revolve around one another presence safe in the knowledge that despite the challenges we have faced, the abandonment and atonement’s for sins not of our making…we believe in one another. The stitch in my Heart cannot be ripped apart by outside forces. She has embraced the family as her own and is proud to be called my daughter. She is the Garnet in the core of my being, strength, courage and a beauty that is all her own.
13 years…my youngest surprise. My pebble on the beach when I was unaware there were challenges laying ahead that could be overcome with the simple hug or grip on my hand. The world is her oyster and she like most Pearls embraces the grain and yearns to learn more. She is the independence we all seek, and we stand in awe humbled by her courage…awakened recently that there may be a crack in the surface she is proving to embrace the challenge before her and I can hold my head up knowing she is not afraid of what lies before her.  We watch in awe as she dances to the beat of her own drum, not afraid to say “You guys are ….”
4 years…a gift after losing one so precious. A note from who ever is in charge that there are roads ahead for me to travel….tired or not, each day is a learning adventure I am blessed to have been blessed with her. My granddaughter, the first grandchild…totally catching us all by surprise, she is the link in the chain that brings us all together and we wear her with a pride and acknowledge her presence with a smile that we can embrace the challenges and laugh in the face of adversity.

All these years I have opened my door for whomever knocked, when an ear was needed a chair was offered and time stopped while we embraced the challenge before us. There was no GPS that would lead me on this path, nor to the Door that was opened by the lovely friends I have been most honored to meet in my role as a parent…but like the jewels in my heart…I have learned over the challenges we have all faced, embraced, endured and spoke of in whispers, I am blessed to have been part of something more amazing than what I had ever imagined for myself.  Like a friends beautiful quilts, we all come together to create a sense of warmth and comfort on the cold road that is that of a stepparent, biological parent or guardian. Each of a piece of the beauty that is …Our lives.

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