“Sometimes we are only given a few minutes to be with the one we love and a thousand hours to spend just thinking of them”
Soon it will be that time of year, where thousands upon thousands will gather and celebrate that one special person who makes us smile, who taught us to laugh at the little things and embrace the impossible dream and make it a reality. Known by the simple name of Mom, Mother, Mama, Mommy ….she is the nurturer, Our care giver, Our holder of all secrets, and the hoarder of Love. We will embrace the memories of our younger years spent worshiping their existence, and reliving the one single memory that above all else is ours alone. If you are a single child, those memories will be yours alone, however, if like myself you have siblings…those memories will be shared, but you will still retain that one special memory that is yours and yours alone. You will have a moment in time that is forever branded in your brain and heart…be it the early morning chats while getting ready for school, or the long car rides from home to work, be it the laughter in the car ride on that long road that never ended open route to the family vacation…or even the long drawn out criticisms over a choice made poorly..there will be memories. Life is like that…there are memories for everything…but the memory of our parentage is one that holds strong.
Memories are the long road trips, talking about life plans, past boyfriends, memories of her youth compared to ours…the endless comparisons of privilege over what they themselves experienced. The fears of what tomorrow may bring, and the joys of what today does offer…Mom shares them all. From the simplest touch, to the briefest hug…Mothers offer it all. They are proud when you succeed…and they are proud when you fail…because they hold on to that dream that you will one day be something, someone larger than she ever thought possible for you. Mothers are the ones that offer up those unwanted comparisons…sometimes unaware that the psyche is cracking just a little…her goal is focused…she wants you to be all you can be…she wants you to be all she couldn’t be…she wants….
Mothers are memories that sometimes cause stress and anxiety…fears relived as we grow up and embrace the role ourselves. So many times we say to ourselves…”When I grow up I am not going to be like…” but truth be told one day you will find yourself screaming out in frustration…”Oh my god I have become my mother!”…Some days there will be that moment when you smack your self and say “Whoa…back up a sec…remember your promise?”…and the current stress-or will be replaced with yet another tactic you learned from a friend or online, or in a group…but nurturing nonetheless…and you will tackle the latest adventure with your child (ren) and hope that tomorrow this small person with eyes like their father, and a smirk like you had when you were that age will survive this thing called life, and aspire to be more than you ever thought possible, more than you embraced…because your faith is that large. We do this with all the nuturing, angst, laughter, steam and steadfast belief in the child before us….just like Mom did with us.
This year, on Mothers Day, on this fifth year since my own mother passed, I will gather around the table with some of my children…and we will enjoy breakfast and tears as we relive some of the tales of my own misspent youth…the things taught, shared and laughed at with my own mom. I am sure my sister will remember her her in her own right, as will my brother and my dad…Each of us with our own memory or take on life events, Each of us with our own challenges, each of us with our own regrets, accomplishments and Love…all bonded with one simple thread…the Love that my mother instilled in us. I will embrace the day knowing that like her, there are regrets, things left unsaid, laughter that was shared, and a Love that encompassed all…good and bad. I will look upward, and say my Blessings…and remember that although I celebrate her this day…I acknowledge her everyday in my Life, my Love, My Growth and my mistakes…she was the one who would laugh with me when I needed it, and encouraged me when I was down, she applauded me when I succeeded and embraced a dream to be bigger. The thousand memories I take with me are not overshadowed by the loss of her to cancer, for she is forever with me.
So take a moment to laugh, to share…and remember that the road that leads you here today is because of a woman who never stopped sharing herself with you, your siblings, your family or a stranger. Nothing and no one can take that away.